Tell-All
by bluebanditshonor
Summary: Guess who finally gets to hear everything about everything! (It's Olive.)


So it's always bothered me how they never end up telling poor Olive everything. I'm sure they would've gotten around to it if the show hadn't been canceled, or maybe they wouldn't have idk. This is literally the first fic i've ever written, so cut me a little slack, ok? And I'll keep writing it and eventually put the next bit up. It'll probably be 2 chapters. Also I have this headcanon that Ned and Chuck can touch through clothing, they just don't know it/are v careful in the show. Ok, enjoy

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It was winter, the Pie Maker's favorite time of year. It was his favorite time of year because he could hold the mittened hand of the girl he loved without fear of sending her back to her death with a brush of his cursed skin. At this moment, however, the Pie Maker and the aforementioned love of his life were standing in the dimly lit Pie Hole kitchen after closing hours along with Private Investigator Emerson Cod. The Pie Maker was clad in his black henley and charcoal pinstriped vest with black jeans and his ever-present white-tipped plimsolls and furrowed brow. His mittened accomplice in life and love, otherwise known as Chuck, was standing beside him dressed to the nines in a bright red overcoat opened to reveal a deep blue velvet with a cinched waist and matching black pumps with a wool beanie and mittens. Emerson Cod, in his ankle-length dark brown overcoat and silken shirt and scarf, stood on the other side of Ned the Pie Maker.

The three of them were huddled together facing the kitchen door through which Olive Snook in her creamsicle orange Pie Hole uniform had just barged. The Pie Maker had just finished blurting out, rather loudly, "If I hadn't brought you back to life -" only to be interrupted by Olive banging through the kitchen door. "If you hadn't what?"

It was clear Olive had heard every last word. Chuck's jaw dropped. Emerson Cod cursed to himself. Ned's eye twitched violently.

"N-nothing. Nothing at all," Ned stammered, completely unconvincingly in Olive's opinion. Olive narrowed her eyes, Chuck reached a gloved hand forward and grasped Ned's hand in hers, as Emerson Cod grumbled, "oh hell no," more audibly this time, and attempted to sneak out of the kitchen. This proved difficult considering his girth and significant height, and Olive froze him with a narrowed eye.

"Alright, that's enough!" Olive began indignantly. "Enough of the secrets, enough of the drug muling, and enough of the exclusion. No more _it's for your own good_. I seem to be the only one not in on the skinny around here, and I'd like that remedied. Now. _Right_ now. Tell me everything." At this, Olive stomped her foot, and all four foot eleven of her radiated distaste and anger at being left out of the loop. She stood breathing hard, steaming after her diatribe, hopeful that she'd at least gotten her point across. She was tired of feeling just out of the loop with these people she considered her close friends.

The trio before her seemed to come back to life after being frozen by Olive's outburst. She watched her beloved Pie Maker squeeze the gloved hand of Chuck, who in turn squeezed back and turned to him with a worried look. Something seemed to pass between them without verbal communication, as they turned simultaneously back towards Olive with the same troubled expression. Emerson Cod had his head in his hands and seemed to be mumbling to himself. Olive only caught snippets of what sounded like, "...unbelievable," and "...my ass" from between his fingers.

Chuck took a deep breath, "Ok, Olive. Full-fledged membership and all access pass to the PI Palooza coming right up. Give Ned and me a minute?" The Pie Maker's eye twitched violently again. Olive almost cracked a smile. She did so love him.

"Fine," she declared, "I'll give you one minute, sixty seconds of privacy."

At this, Ned furrowed his thick brows and whined, "Oh, why does it have to be a minute? Can't we have five?" Chuck raised her eyebrows at his childish tone.

"Three minutes. That's final," Olive declared. She straightened up and stomped out of the kitchen, leaving the Pie Maker and Chuck alone. Emerson Cod seems to have managed to sneak out of the Pie Hole in the middle of the yelling match.

"We can't tell her!" Ned cried, turning again to face Chuck.

"We have to tell her!" Chuck said at the same time.

Ned took a deep breath and lowered his voice, "we can't tell her, Chuck. It's too risky." Ned couldn't figure out what to do with his arms, and after waving them about for a few seconds, settled on crossing them tightly across his chest.

"What's too risky?" Chuck asked in a harsh whisper, "She's my friend, and it's not fair! You know I hate secrets. Why can't I just share this one with her?"

"Because," Ned implored, "you heard her, she's got so many secrets already she's about to explode. The last time this happened she quit and became a nun, remember? And besides, you know what my secret getting out will do, to me _and_ you." _That's final_, he didn't say. Ned's tone suggested he intended to end the conversation there, but Chuck was having none of it.

"So we'll make sure she knows exactly the risks of telling people, and she'll keep our secret because we trust her to. She's my best friend, and the closest thing I have to a sister. I trust her completely. Don't you?"

"But what if she tells Randy Mann? What if he tells someone else, and they tell someone else, and suddenly everyone in the entirety of Papen County knows, and they all come to my door with pitchforks and torches, intent on destroying me and as a direct result, you?!" Ned was whisper-yelling now. He had crossed his arms so tightly across his chest that his ribs hurt from the pressure. He liked it that way though. He felt it kept him safe.

Chuck sighed and unwrapped Ned's vise-like grip on himself to wind herself into his arms in a well-protected hug. She sighed again. She felt so safe in his arms, despite the fact that she really wasn't at all. "I know. I know you're scared. I know you're reluctant to tell anyone else, but I think it'll be good for you." She rested her chin on his chest and looked into his dark eyes. He looked so scared. She longed to kiss his fears away but was out of reach of any plastic wrap and didn't feel much like moving anyway. "We'll do it together, okay? Just like always. You and me against the world. Right?"

Ned sighed and pressed his forehead to Chuck's hatted one and squeezed her tighter. He took a shaky breath, "Okay. Together."


End file.
